my christmas eve post...two days later

i uploaded these pictures the morning of christmas eve and planned a predictable post about how we were all set for the day to come.

the children's nativity was as it should be, with everyone in their place and all knight imposter's removed. although i think the donkey kept a saddle that i am sure doesn't belong.

the trees were still standing and all lights were still working.

however, the real tree is dead and any slight friction could cause it to go up in flames.

how grateful i was that the pill had decided to not leave home just before the holidays.

because the bags were packed and he was headed for texas. he is waiting for summer, and fairer weather.

the kids christmas programs were over and we see a future is show business...for both of them. then christmas eve turned anything but predictable. e and i set to making beautiful snowflake sugar cookies, when ripp came in and decided we need to do texas cookies as well. while they painted cookies, the pill and i headed downstairs to organize cars. he was happy to abandon cleaning when my back started hurting, telling me he was just "too worried" and had to go get dad. we set out for last minute errands, spending way too much time looking for a holiday salami and missing our tradition of a movie when it sold out earlier than we thought.

when we finally made it home, the kids binged of the walls as we counted down the hours to bedtime. somewhere in all this, the pill's fish, mikayla, was found on the kitchen floor. ripp scooped her dry body up and with the look on his face, pronounced her dead. he put her back in the bowl anyway and we all watched as she sank to the bottom and gasped for water to run through her gills. we've had animal tragedy on a holiday not long ago, and my heart sank as i watched the pill stare into the fish bowl. and then the first miracle of christmas occurred with a whip of the tail. she lived.

after that, we put food out to attract reindeer and listed closely for the ringing of sleigh bells. but we all agreed the having mikayla the beta live, was the best present of all. hope your christmas was as wonderful and unpredictable as ours. love to you all.

dominic the donkey

two months ago, had i heard this christmas song mixed in with the others on the xm holly station, i would have liked it. it is original, catchy, peppy and about a donkey. now, having been the proud, too-short-term-owner of a mini donkey, i loooove this song. it is in my top three of favorite christmas songs and i am sharing with you. that way i don't have to sing. so...from me to you. merry christmas! (the video is lame, just enjoy the music)

if you were wondering...

last week, the pill and one of his buddies were bellied up to my bar making jet packs, eating pumpkin chocolate chip cake and chit chatting. friend: how come you guys don't come to church? the pill: because my dad can't stand church music. if only life's really important questions could all be answered so easily and honestly.

the animals are gone...all is quiet

we are still here...all is well.

thanksgiving mourning

if anyone needs a reminder of how quickly things can change, this is one of those posts. and...cue my tears.

anyone who knows me, knows that i come from/live with a family of animal lovers. we think things through and we fall extremely hard. we see animals for much more than what they are, we fall in love with their loyalty and quirkiness, we internalize their emotions, and appreciate the unconditional love they give. needless to say, losing a pet crushes us.

boy am i feeling crushed right now. in the very wee hours of thanksgiving morning we lost coco to a dog. we heard commotion, but didn't make it out to her in time and despite getting her to the vet as quickly as possible, the damage was done. ripp walked out of the vet with her collar in hand and a promise to call later to take care of the bill.

to make matters worse, the tags on the dogs showed that they belonged to a very, very dear friend. so not only am i so sad for coco and our family, i am sad for their family and the dog they said good-bye to later that morning.

and...we have one very lonely and agitated donkey. his actions the past two days tell me that he was scared very badly during the attack and that he is also grieving for her. this is the first time in his short life that he has ever been alone, and because we have no intention of bringing any other creature home to him, we are in the process of finding him a home.

they do say things come in threes.

despite all of this, i have much to be thankful for:

-my own little family who is pulling through this together. children who love like i do and can make me laugh and smile.

-my parents and my brothers family who spent thanksgiving day at our house. they helped with the dinner, distracted us and rolled right along with our emotions. and i think they were here a little longer than usual.

-my ripp who is able to take care of the dirty stuff and tries to protect me in the process. and for being tender-hearted and okay with showing it.

-my dear friend who cried right along with me into our coffee yesterday and for keeping us busy this weekend.

-a vet who didn't make us wait, who knew just what to say and do, and trusted a broken-hearted ripp to come back later.

-the 'ranch' while we had it. duke and coco have brought us all a lot of enjoyment, we only wish it hadn't ended so soon and under these circumstances.

-to all of you who read this blog. by writing this, i am hoping to lift some of the heaviness in my heart. this is my therapy.

oh brother

the middle child in my family, a brother, came to visit over the weekend.

i sometimes comment that he is my long-lost brother, but the truth is he has just found his home to be seven hundred miles north of here. he, his wife, their two boys, two dogs and two cats have an awesome life there. sandpoint is spectacular, so i get it...except when we all have the chance to be together. then i hate sandpoint for capturing his heart and holding it tight.

and i do looooooove when we are all together. i sit back and marvel at how similar we all are, and yet so very different. i see some of my parents in all of us. we were raised to work hard and play even harder. we were a family in the truest sense of the word. now...i see it happening all over again with each of us and our families. very similar at the core, but different the further out you get.

being with the family i was raised in, while enjoying the family i am raising is about as close to perfect as it could get.

colds and airplanes

like clockwork, the sniffles rolled in right along side the cold, wet(snowy!) weather. which means that every time we leave the house we now must tuck tissues in our pockets alongside the hats and mittens. the sniffles (translate: coughy, gooey, nasally voiced, sore throat) kept the pill home with me yesterday after he artfully sold me with, "i just can't get one of my friends sick!" besides, can you believe that kindergartners have to go to school everyday?!?!

so began a long day {cooped} up in the house. it included videos, books, floor mopping, games, soup, toast, laundry, attempted nap, fluids, neediness and hot chocolate. oh...and about fifty requests for airplane. call me crazy, but not only is the pill a ton of bricks, the thought of his drippy nose hovering a couple feet above my face was just not happening.

just before 5, with the skies outside almost dark, i obliged. had i known that this was going to be just the cure for the coops, i would have started much earlier in the day.

hApPy HaLlOwEn

here is what i know...

i have been placing unfair blame on duke. he is a baby. he is in a new home. the weather has become very cold. like 27 degrees of cold. he has coco the crazy for a stall mate. and he is a growing boy who is hungry. i have been blinded by coco's quirkiness. quirky-cute in my book. she is also a baby in a new home that is cold. she is growing too and hungry, but small and really fast. she is c-r-a-z-y. these two things combined mean that meal time is a frenzy. two times a day. duke wants his grain. coco wants her granola...and his grain. she devours her food, zigs, zags, hops and scoots her way to his food, diving in head first. duke shakes his head, stomps, flattens his ears and eventually kicks. all the while i am yelling at coco, cussing out duke and siding with coco. this has been giving me an overall, undeserved bad attitude towards duke. when really, coco the crazy is asking to get her little goat butt kicked. and duke is just be patient. after some discussion of sending him to a new home, we went to look at a potentially good fit. i can say with absolute certainty that he is not going to that place-it would send him straight into a donkey sized depression! i came home with a new appreciation for what we are giving these animals. i will not be blinded by her antics and duke is going to get me on his side for a change. for starters, coco is eating her granola on the other side of the fence. then duke doesn't have to get so worked up for what is rightfully his. smart me.

it is our annual sneak-peek-to-winter storm which makes for long days inside, curled up on the couch or laying near the fire.

at least that is what ripp and i prefer to do. the children get crafty.

by sunday evening, ripp and i were both sporting brand new, original, handmade necklaces and holding a picture that e had colored for us...of us.

she thought her dad was quite funny when he asked why she had colored him with his brown-haired girlfriend instead of her blonde-haired mom.

here's to long winter days inside.

a pretty good party

we celebrated the pill's getting-a-year-older last night, and when words can not possibly express the sights and sounds of the evening, post exactly 28 pictures. then hope you never forget how much you love your life, your amazing family and friends, and the kid at the center of it all.

also...remember to always give your camera to your dearest friend to capture the evening.

thank-you andi. mbk would be proud.

even as i can't quite get a grip on my feelings for our new stall mate,

i can say with absolute certainty that i LOVE halloween.

i haven't always...but creepies and crawlies took over my house this year.

and i can't stop craving fresh cider and glazed donuts.

this vintage graphic is one of my favorite halloween graphics thus far.

i LOVE it.

rating my weekend

the bad: lets get it out of the way first. i fell, actually flipped, out of our hammock and landed right on my head. not only was there an audible thump as my headed hit the concrete (yes, i know, it shouldn't be over concrete), i taco-ed myself and have a stiff neck and back bruise to go along with it. secondly, coco was being her silly, acrobatic self when she tumbled of her log and hurt her leg. as if watching her hobble around isn't bad enough, she has this new, obnoxious companion to deal with. the good: nana and papa made the trip up from texas to visit for the weekend. papa's help was much appreciated when getting duke here and nana is good for great conversation and company, game playing, book reading and gift giving. oh, and she is a phenomenal rug-hooker. they came just as the weather turned cooler and we all welcomed it together with fires, a canyon walk, chili, mexican food, scarves and slippers. the undecided: duke arrived friday afternoon. after some careful exploration of the yard, a bit of bribery, and a not-so-gentle nudge through the gate, he was in. he quickly took to the barn and almost as quickly took to coco. she seemed to rule things and even used her log gym to give herself a height advantage. i have grown quiet (really) fond of her. and that is about where my fun with him ends...the last couple days have been a struggle for me. since coco fell, she is hobbling around on a swollen limb. i am not sure if he is just feeling a bit more comfortable, his youth and my insecurities is rearing up or if he is taking advantage of her been slow, but we are just not feelin' each other. he gets feisty with food and has attempted to kick her, which makes my mother bear instinct kick in and i just want to throw him. i also want to give him back. but i won't...not just yet. i will nurse coco back to her former glory. i will try, try, try to be empathetic toward him. i will do my best to make it work.